Penelope

Penelope Cruz

Wet and dirty, What's going on?

She fell in a well!

My favorite things

"Bluebirds and big dicks,"

Rich sings, "These are a few of

My favorite things!"

Abstract art

Non-sequiter art,

Big rock on naked titties.

I don't understand.

Weiner Backup

Let's go for a swim.
Fully cooked, ready to eat.

My weiner backup.

Exorcist

"Life imitates art,"

her parents think as she reads,

"Art imitates life."

-OR-

Stories for bedtime

sometimes make me feel funny.

If about Satan.

Stretch, kick, stretch!

Fraternity boys,

hypnotized and reaching high,

fulfill my wet dream.

--OR--

Stretch those sexy abs!

A tasty beefcake line-up.

Chippendale bootcamp.

Witches

Witches on Vacay?

New wicked transportation?

OR just really dumb...

--OR--

Two lovely ladies,

witching synchronicity.

These witches don't melt.

Fancy Nursing Home

This place looks real nice!

Hardwood floors, fireplaces.

Shame I pissed on them...

Tiger

Here's Tiger Woods,

Showing off his Tiger goods.

No one wants your stuff.

Jersey Shore

Devastating news!
I don't know how they'll survive
the tax on tanning...

-OR-

No jobs, fake spray tans
Polluting cable TV.
Sad "situation"

So Sparkly

Sparkly unitard

brings New Years festivities

from stars past their prime.

I've got coconuts!

Do not press my flesh.
I am just a tender plum.
Man-handle my nuts!

Toilet rules

Toilet communitsts!

Shackles of shit oppression

freed here in the States!

-OR-

Rules for the toilet:

No standing or kneeling, please.

And- Don't fish for turds.

Gonna make you sweat

Walking up the stairs
Every morning, heart rate up
Please excuse my sweat!

Haiku for Mimi

Happy birthday, Friend!
I hope your day is special.
Candles, cake, presents!

There She Is!

Children of the drag,

work their fabulosity.

That's a lot of look.

Burritos

Big sombrero guy,
brings wisdom to the masses.
Don't steal my churros!

Jesus

Mom, look what I made!
Having a blast at church camp.
Your lord, in latex.

-OR-

Her balloon talents,
bring her closer to the lord,
further from normal.

Hello Kitty

Emergency call,
furry cat burglar is caught.
Hello kitty-jail!